Social Development has not prepared individuals to be single parents. Single mothers and single fathers need to establish strong support networks, personal friendships, and positive parenting skills. They need to learn how to synchronize the demands of work, home-care, and supervision of children (Benson, 1993). They need to enforce limits, rules, and boundaries consistently, and to transmit responsibility and values, in order to raise responsible, self-controlled, and healthy children (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998).
They need to find ways to improve and maintain their self-esteem. Many single parents learn to live on reduced incomes, find acceptable ways to deal with non-custodial parent, and redefine their relationships with their children. These are but a few of the challenges facing single parents (Benson, 1993). Raising healthy children has more to do with the emotional well being of its members then on family composition (Heath, 1999).
So then, how do single parents foster emotional well being amongst its members, while maintaining a full schedule of work, education, day care, deadlines, finances? It may be difficult and exhausting at times, but it is possible, and the rewards are many (Heath, 1999, p. 429). According to Heath, some of the areas affecting positive outcomes are family stability, self-esteem, and positive parenting (p 429). Our job as parents is to transmit values and the tools necessary for our children to be healthy adults being able to function in the world responsibly and with self-control (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998). Family StabilityChildren need to feel safe. They shouldnt have to worry about their needs being met.
They need structure and routine in order to feel safe and know what to expect. Family conflicts need to be resolved in productive ways. Home should be a balance of function, security, and serenity. Family stability is fostered through family values and family traditions.
Church communities, extended family members, community resources, and other families are good sources of social contexts providing values and tradition (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998). Self-esteemSelf-esteem starts developing at birth when an infant attaches to its mother. This attachment needs to continue and change throughout the childs life (Craig, 2002, pp. 214-215).
Children need to feel valued and loved for being who they are. Children need to know they are important. Children need to start developing intra-awareness, and a conscience. Ways to help this include 1) Modeling self-esteem.
2). Spending time with your children and giving them attention. 3) Being a good role model 4) And being consistent in your parenting practices. Positive Parenting/DisciplineThe qualities of positive parenting I noticed throughout my reading of various books and articles were: 1).
To make expectations clear. 2). To make consequences clear. 3) To be fair and appropriate. 4). To reinforce positive behavior.
4). And to be consistent. Although these practices were similar, the authors used different language and strategies. I will review a few of the framework of particular parenting programs and give information on obtaining and analyzing specific parenting programs. The Art of Discipline (DeFrancis, 1994) has a wonderful concise article on the World Wide Web.
She suggests that parents tailor their discipline approaches by keeping in mind the childs age and temperament. She reinforces because no two children are the same, what works for one child, may not for another, I will highlight the points of her article. Communication: Positive techniques of communicating with children are speaking with a soft tone, reaching compromises, offering choices, and reasoning. Consequences: A way of decreasing inappropriate behavior or increasing appropriate behavior.
Speaking in a calm state to a child if you continue this the consequences will beDevelopmental Techniques: Keep in mind your child development stage and behavior changes and apply appropriate strategies.Distraction: Taking attention away from an inappropriate activity and direct to an appropriate activity.Extinction: A technique used primarily for annoying behavior in which .